What is the definition of happiness? Well that’s really hard to say. What someone calls happiness or what makes them happy differs from person to person. It’s really up to you to make your own definition of happiness. My definition of happiness is to be at peace with yourself and those affecting your life.
Happiness is affected by so many things including what you do, what others around you do or the natural forces of the world. It can seem so silly that many small little things can decide how your day, week or month is going to go. Like that old phrase you hear your parents say when you are really crabby in the morning, “Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” I’ve found that waking up on my favorite side of my bed makes my day go so much better. Something as trivial as the socks you wear can make or break your day. I really hate the socks that my aunt gives me each year for Christmas. They always slide down into my shoe, so after five minutes I have to take my shoes off and pull up my socks.
In the article, “This is Water,” by David Foster Wallace, he says the way you think can block your happiness. When you focus on yourself and not on the bigger picture, you are never truly able to interact with other. If you let yourself think you're the center of the universe, you miss out on the happiness of being social. When you think about others, you may start to see a happier viewpoint of the world and others in it (Wallace). You cannot nurture your own soul by yourself. You need others around you to replenish.
There are times when things seem horrible and happiness does not seem to be an option. This happens only if you let it. For example, what would happen if you find out your mother was sick. It seems like there’s nothing you can do to help them and you start feeling helpless. Then you start wondering if they’re going to die, about their pain and so much more. You get upset and then one thing leads your thought to be out of control. You start seeing all the “what ifs” flashing before your eyes. Before you know it, you’re so depressed that you can’t make decision about anything. But are you really in a place where you can do nothing to be happy?
Remember there’s always a silver lining to every problem. Even when facing a major illness, your attitude and focus can all be influenced by the people you surround yourself with. One little smile or hello in morning can make your day shine. I believe this must especially be true during times of illness. The people around you will be you joy and motivation, which in turn will bring happiness. With their help, you can turn the negative into a positive.
Each day must be lived with a sense of purpose in all that you do. If you believe you have a purpose or a "personal legend" as Paulo Coelho calls it, your life will be complete. Coelho is the author of, The Alchemist, where the main character Santiago travels into the unknown because he believes that he has to follow his dreams to be happy or fulfilled in life. He worked for months get money to travel through the desert, where he finds the love of his life and his purpose. Of course there were hardships, but he worked through them and gained `knowledge. He also discovered powers beyond his wildest dreams and met so many friends that he know he would remember forever. “He thought of the many roads he had traveled, and of the strange way God had chosen to show him his treasure. If he hadn’t believed in the significance of recurrent dreams, he would not have met the Gypsy woman, the king, the thief, or… ‘Well, it’s a long list. But the path was written in the omens and there was no way I could go wrong’” (Coelho 165).
Whether you like it or not, sometimes you have to work at being happy. For those who aren’t very social, they have to work at it, so they can have the happiness of having others around them. A winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman says just that in the article, “The New Science of Happiness.” Kahneman asked 900 women in Texas to fill out a diary and questionnaire. It turns out the second most positive, happiness filled activity for these women was socializing (Wallis).
How many of us females would say hanging out with their friends and family is really fun? To me one of the keys to happiness is to surround yourself with people who truly support and love you for who you are. Whether it’s a small, close group of people or a large and wildly spread out group, being connected to others gives you so many opportunities. For example you can ask your friends for suggestions about people to fix things around your house or stores that they recommend. They can also tell you about jobs opportunities or a fun place to visit. The networking possibilities are endless within your group of people you care for.
Networking can also been done using a couple. A simple request for happiness in a search engine reveals over 57 million results. I’ll use the “keep it simple” principle, which is popular in my family. “The Happiness Project” suggests finding happiness is as easy as making 3 new friends. Research has shown people with at least 5 friends are more likely to label themselves as a happy person (Rubin). My personal experience has found this to be very true. In 7th grade, I really put myself out there are really tried to make a few good friends. I feel like I succeeded. In fact last year when my uncle died unexpectantly, they were there for me. I felt loved and supported. I had people who listened to me. Their support turned something bad into something good.
Happiness is always going to be a work in progress. Sometimes it comes easily, at other times it takes work and determination. Each of us needs to set our happiness bar, and then work toward achieving it. My personal happiness bar focuses on having family and friends around me, along with the goal to live life to the fullest, have no regrets, learn from times that caused pain, while never forgetting the great times. Do what you find fun or joy in doing, and don’t force yourself to do things that bring you down. That’s my personal message of finding happiness. What is yours?
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